I'm officially 12 weeks and 4 days. Seems like a lot has happened since my last update.
My nausea and fatigue were finally starting to subside, and then I got hit with a cold. I'm hoping that by this time next week, I'll be a completely new woman - having overcome both. I'm also off all my hormones, and feeling great about that. It's such a relief and a weight off my shoulders to not always be watching the clock, setting alarms and having a small pharmacy in my purse wherever I go. I've also met with the social worker at the hospital, which was really informative, and I got an idea of what to expect at the time of delivery and how it works at the hospital with a surrogate delivery.
I had another appointment with the midwife this evening and Janelle and Joel got to join us for part of it via the computer. It was really cool to have them "there," and be able to share the experience with them. The midwife had a hard time finding the heartbeat with the doppler, so she did an ultrasound instead - which of course, is so much more fun! The baby actually looks like a baby now! Not a seed or a nut or a bean, but a real baby. We could see the body: with its head, trunk, arms and legs and even a little face. A face!!! There was even a comment made about baby's lips! We could see the lips already! Amazing.
For me it was really a surreal moment, and I think the reality of what we're doing really hit me. There is this little person, this little life that is growing inside of me.
It's such a different experience to do this - to go through a pregnancy for someone else. From the beginning, I've sort of detached myself somewhat, that taking care of the baby and myself is an important "job" of mine. It's hard to explain, because it's not that I don't care about him or her, because I already do. I don't know how you couldn't. It's more a feeling of protectiveness rather than one of falling in love, as you do when carrying your own child. I don't think that really explains it very well, but right now words are eluding me to give a better explanation. Seeing this baby so clearly on the screen, gives me new feelings entirely, and I'm not sure I can even articulate them well enough yet to even try to explain it. I'll have to get back to this in a later post.
So for the time being, I'm ecstatic to say that things are going as smoothly as we could hope for. I'm feeling better, and am noticing a difference as we approach the second trimester. Energy and appetite are both on the rise, and I'm welcoming them both back with open arms.
Here are 2 pictures of me from today. One was taken early on in the day and the other one at the end of the day. It's amazing how different they are, and how by nighttime the pregnancy "bloat" is in full swing!
Depending what I'm wearing, I think some clothes make me look more pregnant as opposed to just "thick."
Time to start wearing those more often, I think, as "thick" isn't really the look I typically try for.