CHP - arms with Myer

CHP - arms with Myer

04 January 2013

Looking back and looking ahead

~ by Kim

2012 has been quite the year! 

The girls turned 4 and 1, we took a family trip to Hawaii, went on our first trip without the kids, and started on this adventure with surrogacy. It's hard not to be a little reflective as I look back to where we were, just a year ago. It was this time last year that I started really thinking about surrogacy, and if this was something I thought I could do. Sometimes it seems like such a long time ago, and at other times it feels like just yesterday. I find it interesting looking back at where we were, and it makes me realize how far we've come. This was the second post I'd written, when were just starting our journey.
Early thoughts of surrogacy.

2013 looks like it's going to be just as busy and exciting of a year. I'm in a new job, Lily will be starting kindergarten in the fall and we have a couple of small getaways that we're hoping to do, both before and after the baby comes that I'm really looking forward to. Of course, the biggest thing this year will be the birth of this baby and Janelle and Joel expanding their family. Afterwards, my life will go back to normal as we continue our regular daily life as a family of 4, and Janelle and Joel will adjust and settle into their new routine as the same. They'll be busy and I'm excited for them, for what will be their next adventure.  

As for my New Year - I rang it in at work. I worked the night shift (7pm -7am) and got glimpses of the countdown from the TV in the waiting room. I had a moment where I felt a little down, I think from a combination of small things. I didn't want to be at work, the girls were both sick and spending the night at their grandparents' house and I was feeling guilty, I was wanting to be with hubby for the New Year, even though we rarely make it to midnight anymore, and then thinking, man....I can't even have a drink. I think I was just feeling a little lonely being away from everyone. At midnight, one of the nurses came and gave me a New Year hug. Instantly, I felt better. The big picture came back int sight and I know how fortunate we are. It's amazing, the power of a hug, and what it can do. I'm sure that nurse has no idea how the simple gesture had such an effect on me that night, and I don't know if I'll ever say anything, as it's not someone I know well. 

I'm also now in the single digit countdown to stopping all these meds and hormones! Hopefully then, I won't be such an emotional mess, tearing up at things like the extended ASPCA commercials that have been playing over the holiday season, about all these poor animals that need me. Or watching movies and getting emotional before even getting to the sad part in anticipation of what I know is about to happen. Sad. Can't wait for the return of my sanity. (It will come back, right?!?)

So, I'm excited for this upcoming year! I have various appointments this month, with another ultrasound appointment, a few more blood draws, another appointment with the midwife and even meeting with the social worker at the hospital, who will facilitate everything there. Should be a busy month and I'll keep you all posted. 

So, like Janelle said: "Bring it on 2013!"

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