24 weeks... 16 to go!
It's amazing how fast the time is flying!
I'm big. People tell me I'm big. I feel big. I look big. No one is hesitant anymore to comment on my being pregnant for fear that I may not be. It's obvious. It's not a few extra pounds, or a little winter weight. There's a baby in there, and everyone can see it.
Overall, I'm feeling good - just feeling pregnant and a little more tired. I've been a little awkward physically as I adjust to my growing belly, and have bumped into a few things and/or people as my estimations about how much room I need are not always accurate. Sometimes I feel like I'm a bit more of a wuss this time around, and I don't remember being as tired at this stage with my other pregnancies. Then I remember that this time around, I have two kids to take care whereas I didn't before. My shifts at work are 12 hours and I do both days and nights, and I'm noticing that I'm a bit slower to bounce back from the night shift.
Lily talks about the baby daily, and it really touches my heart how loving she is. She's always giving the baby (aka my tummy) kisses and hugs, brings me food she thinks the baby would like, and asks me questions about what I think he thinks or feels. She tells me about the things she wants to teach him once he's here, like how to run fast and jump really high, and then lectures Rowan, who is just about 2, about being gentle and not squishing the baby when they come to cuddle with me.
She's also asked me, that after this baby is born and back with Janelle and Joel, if I can grow another one for us to keep. (Say what?!?) I've told her that this will be the last baby that I grow, and maybe when Rowan is a little older, we can get a cat. Thinking about getting a kitten... she forgot all about another baby. If only that worked for everything.
Another big milestone was that yesterday I was able to SEE the baby moving for the first time, where I could see my belly actually move while he was kicking. That was an exciting moment, and really hit home that there is this little person inside of me. It's not just an embryo that we transferred, but a baby who is getting bigger and stronger every day. The baby is about a foot long now, and my uterus is now the size of a soccer ball. (No wonder I feel so big!)
It's so different to go through all these little milestones with a baby that isn't mine. It's exciting when things like that happen, but I wish that Janelle could be there to see them and experience it too. It almost feels like I get these moments that aren't really supposed to be mine. It's such a mom-moment to feel a baby from the inside, so it feels a little strange. I'm not really sure how to explain it. Maybe it's a good sign, that things are as they should be and that I don't think of this baby as my own.
In non-surrogacy related life, my youngest daughter will be 2 tomorrow. I still think of her as my little baby until I see a recent picture of her and it reminds me that she's not a baby anymore. Then she'll say something like, "No kisses, mommy. I two." And the most frequent these days being: "I do it self."
Goodbye baby... hello toddler.
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